Have You Defeated The Super Parent Bug?

Pooja Dugar

Founder Director, Leap Year's Preschool

Every MOM knows how to give her child the best when she follows her MOM instinct. Yet the super parenting bug is leading to insecurity and depression amongst many mothers. They are often overwhelmed with advice on everything related to their child. Everyone in their circle has an opinion, even though no one knows the child better than the MOM. Generally the people giving advice mean well but it may actually sabotage the confidence of a new MOM.

The social pressure of a super parent syndrome is pushing young MOMS into a very difficult situation. They are forever reaching out for parenting best seller, parenting videos, creating 'well researched expectations' and what to do strategy based on collective knowledge. Once the baby arrives all this goes out of the window. That’s when reality hits. Babies and toddlers do not adhere to the well-researched expectations of the new MOMs which results in the feeling of failure, disappointment and heartburn. Pressure from the pursuit of parenting excellence and the aspiration for perfection to become a “super-parent” leads to depression and anxiety.

Young MOMS forget that motherhood is a journey and that there are no formulae. Each child has their unique milestones and the MOM needs to use her judgment. As MOM’s, we all love our kids, feel their pains and pleasures and are there for them whenever they need us. But what is important is to always listen to your gut feeling when it comes to your child’s growth and development. Your confidence will come through experience and not from the pages of the latest bestseller. MOMs need to be selective about who they allow into their circle of confidence and advice.

New motherhood is so challenging but it is ok to Trust Your Instinct. So the five reasons why mothers should Trust Their Instinct are:

  • YOU ARE AN EXPERT
  • Be yourself, there is nobody better qualified for your child than you. Believe in this, because at times people will make you doubt yourself.

  • NO RIGHT OR WRONG
  • As long as your child is safe and healthy, there is really no right or wrong way to parent them.

  • YOU ARE THE BEST MOM THEY KNOW
  • You are the only mom they know. Mom can do anything in their eyes and no one can do better or be better than you.

  • WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES
  • As long as we are learning from them and not risking lives they are mere hiccups along the way. There is no such thing as perfect parent, be a real one.

  • ALL THEY NEED IS LOVE
  • There is nothing more potent, protective and powerful as mother’s love. Love is all they need to be happy calm and content.

    So Trust Your Instinct, it will keep you and your child safe and happy. What other people have to say about you, your child and your parenting, is really none of your business. Don’t concern yourself with criticism and judgment.

    GO FOR A HAPPY UNAPOLOGETIC AUTHENTING PARENTING

    But there will be instances where mums need to pull back and rationally take a decision in the best interest of the child. So we’ll take the top 3:

    • WHEN A PROFESSIONEL FEELS STRONGLY
    • There are certain rules of childcare upon which pediatricians are in full agreement. Your pediatrician helps you determine healthy lifestyle for your child and guides you in anticipating your child’s needs. So before you ignore their warnings and go your own way, think long and think hard.

    • WHEN YOUR WAY IS NOT WORKING
    • Sometimes common sense must prevail, and you have to admit that your way isn’t getting the job done. Even if it makes perfect sense in your head sometimes it’s ok to take a deep breath and let it go.

    • WHEN YOU SEE A MOM ENJOYING A GREAT OUTCOME
    • Sometimes we meet this family which completely impresses us with happy, well behaved and joyful kids. You will try to catch a glimpse of their parenting philosophy and methods. But what works for them might not work for you. Remember that every child is unique and needs to be treated as an individual. One size cannot fit all.

      What is most important is that Young mothers start believing in themselves. In essence MOMs need to trust their instinct, even if it’s contrary to the given advice.

      Unfortunately, the beaten and well-trodden path for today’s first-time parents still begins with reading the best sellers on parenting, buying trendy baby gear and deciding on strategy relying on collective knowledge.

      Does it really have to be this way?

Pooja Dugar

Founder Director, Leap Year's Preschool